An irreverent Wall Street Blog
by Bill Singer
by Bill Singer
FBI Therapy Dogs, Beatles Pancakes, And Nonflying Pigs
October 3, 2014
It's Friday afternoon. I'm bored. I don't feel like starting or finishing any work. I am already the day's International Grandmaster of Online Klondike Solitaire with two oakleaf clusters and 1,657 bonus points. On top of that, I spent a tad too much time this morning searching YouTube. It's amazing the crap that folks post on that website -- and one day I may even figure out why I am attracted to so much of it. Below you will find videos about an FBI therapy dog; how to make pancakes that look like the Beatles; and the answer to the question: What do pigs do if they can't fly?
Okay, so I'm a sucker for cute-dog videos. As much as I would like to come up with a clever excuse as to how the FBI's first therapy dog has something to do with corruption on Wall Street, I realize that it's too much of a stretch and figure that there are enough of you out there who will oooh and aaaah over the video embedded below anyway.
The featured performer in today's BrokeAndBroker.com Blog cinema is "Dolce," an 8-year-old German Shepherd/Siberian Husky -- ya gotta catch those stunning eyes! Dolce's handler is Rachel Pierce, a victim specialist in the Federal Bureau of Investigation's Office for Victim Assistance. Pierce received the FBI Director's Award for Excellence for "distinguished service for assisting victims of crime, " as part of the recognition of her role in creating and implementing the FBI's first therapy dog program. There's some additional footage of Pierce working with the puppy "Kevlar."
In keeping with the spirit of Friday and how we're all watching the clock and getting ready to bolt for the door in order to start our fabulous weekends, let me share some more time-wastin' stuff with you.
If you would try to keep this to yourselves, I'm planning on buying about a ten pound bag of flour and a half gallon of milk on the way home. Combining my love of music with my love of cooking, I am planning on getting up really early Saturday and making pancakes. Not just any pancakes but Beatles pancakes -- although if they don't turn out great, I may ask my wife "Well, who do they look like?" If, for example, she says that my Ringo looks more like Keith Richards, then I may simply pretend that I made Rolling Stones pancakes. A George could easily overcook into a Brian Jones. The bigger stretch would be if my Pauls turn out with big lips and I have to fob them off as Mick Jaggers. Can you imagine my wife's face when she walks into the kitchen and sees five huge stacks of pancakes that I point out are Johns, Pauls, Georges, and Ringos? "What the hell is that fifth stack," she may ask. My clever response will be that it's a melange . . . that's a French word . . . a pancake pastiche . . . also a French word (French words are very big when it comes to cuisine (I think that's a French term too)). That fifth pile are Beatles rejects that didn't quite turn out like Beatles and, as such, we got a mixed stack of Charles Aznavour (he's a French singer and like what? You even have a remote idea as to what he looks like? If I tell you that's a Charles Aznavour pancake, just go with it, okay?). As a fall-back position, I am prepared to pretend that the rejects are also Rod Stewart, Iggy Azalea, Nicki Minaj, and, if you really use your imagination, you might even see a Young Jeezy featuring Jay Z, but I know that's going to be a stretch of batter.
Finally, someone -- anyone -- want to explain to me why I found this next video so fascinating? I mean, c'mon, it's just an idiot dropping his videocam out of an airplane. The literal image of a photo bomb! The opening scenes with the tumbling and spinning aren't that big a deal. It's what happens when the camera hits the ground after about 45 seconds of film. I sort of figured it would break apart, as in explode all over the place. I didn't figure the porcine scene stealer. In case your mother didn't warn you: Don't eat stuff that falls out of the sky.