Alien Construction Found on Mars. Bill Singer Proposes Plan to End Recession

June 8, 2011

Okay, so, this guy has posted a video in which he claims to have discovered an alien base on Mars.  Pointedly, here's what he states:

Discovered by David Martines.
This could be the most important discovery on Mars yet! This structure is 700′ x 150′, and is colored white with blue and red stripes against the red Martian soil. This is not a rock or mountain. It is a manufactured structure. This is not something that I created, this is something that is currently on Google Mars. NASA wont talk to me about it. I've sent them a few emails, and no reply. Go see for yourself. The coordinates are: 71 49'19.73″N 29 33'06.53″W Discovered by David Martines 2011

Here's the video that he posted:

Now, assuming this is all true and I can't even begin to imagine how anyone could fake anything like this - well, okay, I can imagine that, but then if I admit that, this won't be much of a story, would it?  So, suspending all belief, I'm just going to accept the fact that there are alien bases on Mars.

What a great opportunity to turn the U.S. economy around! Think about it!!


Here's my plan. Let me call it something modest like the Bill Singer Incredible Plan for Restoring American Greatness and Glory Through Exploitation of Martian Real Estate (the "BSIPFRAGAGTEOMRE"). As I see it, we immediately send a fleet of Wall Street investment bankers to Mars. Once we land them, they will offer low-cost real estate loans to the locals - and by low-cost I mean subprime, hell, below suprime if necessary.

Then those Earth bankers will bundle the loans into tranches. Maybe something catchy like BSIPFRAGAGTEOMRE I, BSIPFRAGAGTEOMRE II, BSIPFRAGAGTEOMRE III, and so forth. You know that ya gotta use roman numerals for these space things, right?

Anyway, after we've tranched the crap outta BSIPFRAGAGTEOMRE, we then make a second set of bundled loans that we will refer to as  BSIPFRAGAGTEOMRE-Collateralized Martian Obligations ("BSIPFRAGAGTEOMRE-CMOs"), and we will load all those investment bankers back on a spaceship headed to Earth, where they will sell the BSIPFRAGAGTEOMRE-CMOs to the Chinese.

If this plan works out along the lines that I'm contemplating, the U.S. will be out of its recession in no time.  Just think of all the folks that we will be able to employ to build those spaceships to send more Wall Streeters to Mars and back!

Hey, here's another fantabulous idea, we  hire newly-disgraced, former California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger to act as the offical BSIPFRAGAGTEOMRE-CMOs spokesperson - after all, he did have the starring role in that Martian sci-fi flick: Total Recall.

So, can I put you down for a few thousand dollars worth of BSIPFRAGAGTEOMRE-CMOs?