The other day, I'm walking around New York City, and as I make my way along Second Avenue, I come across this sign for a not-yet-open business:
Chicken Insider appears to be a restaurant under construction. I say "appears" because I'm just not sure -- there's nothing on the sign to indicate exactly what the hell this establishment will be. I can't quite figure it out. Maybe it's going to be a restaurant. Maybe not. Maybe it's a storefront legal clinic for poultry? Maybe it's a newfangled Securities and Exchange Commission franchise attempting to monetize tips about insider trading?
About that sign . . .
What's with the lower-case "a" in the word "about"? How come all the other words on the sign -- except for about -- start with an upper-case letter?
Then there's my discomfort with the big letter "C" in the logo that wraps around both "hicken" and "insider." As I see it and read it, this establishment is Chicken Cinsider. What the hell is a Cinsider? I know that a chicken's got white meat, dark meat, giblets . . . but where exactly are the cinsiders? And, more to the point, do I want to eat 'em?
Having gotten myself into a lather with the lower-case about and the dubious Cinsider, it was only a small step to tackling the slogan: "Insider Information Everything about Chicken"? Where are we to put the emphasis with that "everything" -- is that "Insider Information Everything" or is that "Everything about Chicken"?
So . . . just what kinda place is Chicken Cinsider (or Chicken Insider) gonna be?
Is this going to be a place where folks planning on insider trading can share a table, share some inside information, and split a whole chicken?
Do they bring a talking chicken to your table and the vocal poultry imparts otherwise confidential information to the patrons? Might be an interesting bit of cross-marketing if the could hire Foghorn Leghorn.
If "insider trading" involves trading stock based on material nonpublic information, will the courts extend that interpretation to chicken stock?
I am open to any and all ideas about just what the hell is goin' on here.