Maestro Regulatory Lawyer Writes About Pile Boulevard

January 11, 2010

About a month ago I wrote a column for The Ralph Kiner Lesson for Wall Street., in which I discussed the need for Wall Street to re-think its approach to transaction-based compensation. The other day my press-clipping service informed me that the Forbes article had been posted on the website ,

What's Theopca? Got me. Frankly, I had never heard of that site and was somewhat puzzled when I noticed that the title of my column was described as The Ralph Kiner Excludingon For Pile Boulevard . Personally, I've never used the term "excludingon" instead of "lesson," but, hey, who am I to question word choices.  On the other hand, I was truly intrigued as to how "Wall Street" became "Pile Boulevard."  Then again, a lot of folks seem to have gotten a severe form of piles from Wall Street in the past few years, so, once again, who am I to question word choices?

By the time I finished reading's posting, I was close to tears - from laughter. I'm not sure what the Theopca site is, but as best I can tell, there is some program that takes English language content, translates it into some other language, and then computer-translates that second iteration back into English - with some hysterical results. For instance, in my original Forbes column, I wrote:

Those in the full-service community rightfully warn against the folly of amateur-hour investing. I have no quibble there. However, that warning misses the mark by failing to recognize that such alienated investors are likely motivated in large measure by their sense of betrayal by those to whom they once paid large commissions for recommendations to buy and sell stocks.

However, in the Theopca site, this is what is posted:

Those in a full-service village justly advise opposite a unsteadiness of amateur-hour investing. we have no oppose there. However, that notice misses a symbol by unwell to commend that such alienated investors have been expected encouraged in vast magnitude by their clarity of profanation by those to whom they once paid vast commissions for recommendations to buy as good as sell stocks.

Similarly, my bio at the end of my Forbes columns' reads:

Bill Singer of and is a veteran regulatory lawyer; an outspoken critic of ineffective regulation; and a staunch advocate for the rights of smaller firms, individual registered persons and defrauded investors. Bill regularly appears as a commentator on television and radio, and is frequently quoted in the press.

Magically, through the high-tech translation of, my credits now read:

Bill Singer of as good as is a maestro regulatory lawyer; an outspoken censor of ineffectual regulation; as good as a fixed disciple for a rights of not as big firms, particular purebred persons as good as defrauded investors. Bill continually appears as a writer upon air wave as good as radio, as good as is often quoted in a press.

So . . . look, it's Monday morning, a long workweek looms ahead. Get your cup of coffee. Sit at your desk so that it looks like you're doing important work. Now, log on to and read what this maestro regulatory lawyer (and outspoken censor) has to say about Pile Boulevard. If nothing else, you'll get one hell of a laugh.